


Sugar, Spice, and Nothing Even Remotely Nice

by ScarfyTheShipster



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Cookies, Fluff, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 13:52:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6807655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarfyTheShipster/pseuds/ScarfyTheShipster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Handsome Jack and Timothy have almost nothing in common, except that they're both stress bakers. They get a little close in the kitchen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sugar, Spice, and Nothing Even Remotely Nice

Handsome Jack smelled like fresh cookies when he was in a bad mood. He had a sweet tooth, and a stressful life (not self inflicted at all, what an absurd thought) and the two mixed together to create his cooking audio broadcast.

It wasn't very educational, but Tim preferred it to Jack's other broadcasts.

"First thing I'm gonna do is get this bowl wet with my eggs. Yeah. Sexy." Jack unmistakably cracked a couple eggs into a bowl and rambled on into the microphone. "Then I got all this other shit to add, like vanilla, which I am not, and this oil and bullshit that's important but I don't really care. Next is my dry stuff, like sugar. Of course I have sugar, because I'm baking goddamn cookies. And baking soda, because baking. Also all this flour, and I mix it all in. You gotta strong arm it, but you don't wanna overdo it, cause it'll taste like your underlings' feelings. Last, just fuck it all with chocolate chips and you're done! Bake it, blah blah. It's delicious, cause I made it. Bye."

Tim loved cookies. They're fun to make, and great comfort food after he got into a shouting match with Jack, which he lost by default. Even if Tim felt he was right in thinking the workers building Opprotunity should be treated fairly and welcome to stay in the city, his view didn't matter because he wasn't the real Jack. 

"They deserve it," Tim had argued. "They work hard for you. I lived like they did once. Please, Jack."

"You're only acceptable because you're me. Them?" Jack had scoffed. "Undesirables who don't belong in my city. They'll be lucky to see my vision of Pandora come to life."

Tightness in his throat combined with a telltale moisture in his eyes made Tim drop the subject. Jack didn't care about poor people like him. Or anyone, really. Just how he could charm the rich to get richer. 

Tim stirred his wet ingredients together for his cookies, sighing. At least he was allowed this. He wished he could make significant changes to Hyperion and Jack, but he had his own life to look out for. 

He froze for a moment at the sound of approaching footsteps. "Couldn't you just leave me alone?" mumbled Tim, moodily whisking around the start of his cookies.

Jack strode into the kitchen wordlessly. This was why Tim was allowed to make cookies; Jack was also a stress baker. He got out his own bowl and measuring cups, avoiding eye contact with Tim. Part of Tim was happy. Maybe he'd made Jack feel guilty? The other part desperately wished the silence didn't feel so heavy.

Tim tried to ignore Jack, but even with the silent treatment, Jack was hard to ignore. He was in Tim's space and using everything he needed as well. Their fingertips brushed against each other over the sugar canister, and Tim blushed brightly, praying Jack hadn't noticed. 

Jack absolutely noticed. 

He tried to focus as Jack mixed up his own cookies three feet away from him, but it was getting to be too much. "I'm making snickerdoodles." 

"Im always a slut for chocolate chip." Jack finished his cookies as Tim was rolling his dough into little balls and coating them in a cinnamon sugar mix. "Hey other Jack. Open up, I wanna hear how good this is."

Tim rolled his eyes but obeyed, holding his mouth open to taste a bit of cookie dough Jack had on a spoon. What he wasn't expecting was for Jack to cup his cheek as he nibbed on the dough.

Woah.

The sweetness and chocolate in his mouth combined with the gentle touch made Tim flush brightly with pleasure. Jack gazed at him intently, licking his lips. "How is it?"

He'd take this soft, affectionate Jack any day. Maybe it was just because he had a face Jack could sympathize with. Maybe it was so many sweets being made. Tim felt wonderful in that moment, and decided to get even more. 

Tim leaned forward and kissed Jack. He wanted, needed this. Jack obviously liked it too and sighed and lazily kissed Tim back, pressing him against the counter and holding him in his arms. Tim slid his arms up around Jack's neck and relaxed. He felt so warm and so good, he wanted to stay there forever. "That good, huh?" asked Jack, breaking their kiss for a second and then kissing him more.

"Yeah." Tim grinned and rested his forehead against Jack. "That good."

Jack soothingly rubbed Tim's back and kissed his neck, pleased to hear Tim sigh. "You're mad at me, aren't you kitten?"

"Jack, hey." Tim ruffled Jack's hair. "It's just, I mean. You say you're a hero, but you're only a hero to the few. Those workers down at Opprotunity are employed by Hyperion. They're ours. If we really want to make a good difference, we treat our own right. Please, Jack."

"How can I say no to that face?" teased Jack. "I'll think about it."

Tim kissed his cheek. "Promise?"

"Damn it. Yes."

Tim beamed at Jack and kissed him again. "Are you going to bake those cookies for me? You're sharing, right?" Confidence suited Jack, so it suited Tim. Jack seemed to like the playfulness compared to the cowering so many people did in his presence. 

This newfound sway over Jack could be useful.

Tim gave Jack his best doe eyes and Jack groaned.

"Stoooooooooooooop." He detached himself from Tim and set his pan in the oven. Tim hugged him from behind and Jack looked back at him. "I should've kissed you sooner."

"Duh." Tim struck a pose and fluffed his hair with a smirk. "I'm the hottest piece of ass to ever walk the moon, baby! Let daddy show you how it's done, pumpkin. I don't know if I've seen more tits than I've killed bandits, or vice versa!"

Jack tried to be angry, but wound up snorting with a laugh he couldn't keep down as he threw flour at Tim. "It's only funny because it's true!"

Tim squeaked and covered his face, giggling and also reaching for the flour, only to knock it over on the counter for it to plume and coat them, along with the entire area, with powder. "Oh shoot."

"Fuck me." Jack looked at the mess and called for a cleaning bot as Tim kissed his cheek.

"I'll fuck you, but only after we eat cookies. And aren't covered in flour."

**Author's Note:**

> Yay fluff.


End file.
